memoir

Happy Birthday to you my family was singing to me. I was 15 years old that day the happiest day of my life.

I was no longer Abrienna the baby; I was abrienna the teenage girl.

I was going to be a freshman at Jupiter high, boy was I excited.
I lived in a nice suburb in Jupiter Florida. My house looked like sweet cinnamon; the door was as white as white chocolate.

My stairs were curvy and high up.

Windows covered with a beautiful African curtain.

My house smelled like the scent of a new car; I loved it.

But I prayed to god that I would love my school just as much.

I remember when I went to check the mail they had sent me an open house invitation and I was ecstatic.

I really didn’t know how to react to going to a new school and having a new home at the same time.






When I woke up that morning I had butterflies in my stomach like never before to the point where I couldn’t even think about food.


As I got ready for a new school year I couldn’t help but blush at the thought of being around a parade full of guys.

I admit guys were my main priority especially high school guys.

But when that moment came I was fidgety because today was the day I could shine as the cutest freshman at the school.

Which so far it was working all I was getting was stares from football players checking me out I felt great.


As I looked around all I would see was cliques like never before. You have the geeks, preps, ghetto people the whites would say and Goths and jocks.

It was beautiful for I would become friends with all cliques but the clique I belonged to was the ghetto group.


Just as I thought my life couldn’t get any better I seen the finest boy in school. I was never shy but I couldn’t walk over there by him alone.

So I started to ask people around his name and what grade he was in.


But soon enough he started to notice me and he would tell everyone how he was going to talk to me and that he did.


We were becoming more than friends but there was one little problem he had a girlfriend.


At first it got to me but then I brushed it off like it didn’t matter.


His name was Jermaine Tindale; he was 17 and the flyest boy at Jupiter high.

He was 5”7”; he had mocha chocolate skin and he was built like a football player.


We had gym together and that was the first time in my life that I really liked a boy as much as I liked him, but it made me question why he wouldn’t leave his girlfriend and date me.

I would always ask and his main response was he aint know. Usually that would piss a girl off but I kept going back for more.


Then he started to ask me questions involving sex; which nearly all the boys in high school were sexually active.

Ever since middle school boys wanted to know if I was a virgin.


I never answered the question then but when he asked I told him I was and to him it was icing on the cake to be messin with a younger pretty girl who was also a virgin.


Now I never agreed to have sex until he asked me and I was more nervous than scared.



Only because I thought I could handle anything life throws at me. Man was I wrong.

When that day came of losing my innocence I freaked out because I always wanted to wait for the one.

I thought he was my one but then my best friend Chrissy which happened to be his little sister told me that his girlfriend was coming back to school soon.

Now I wasn’t t scared I was trying to change my ways and put the violence behind me.


The more they talked about her the more I wanted to beat her ass.


Even though I only stood at 5”3, I thought I was the baddest bitch at Jupiter high.



Then the day came and as everyone pointed me out to her I realized that she looked just like a whale.

So that boosted my head more to know that she was as fat as I imagined her.

As she walked toward me she asked if my name was abrienna and I responded yea that’s me why you wanna know as mean as I could be.

Then she said I was just asking and she walked away now I knew I was bad especially if she walked away after asking who I was.


I felt on top of the world until I started to get sick to my stomach and everyone wanted to justify what was wrong with me but then a girl they called black told me Jermaine had gave her Stds.

I was devastated because how could someone so sweet be so dirty.


So I had no choice but to tell my parents that I needed to go to the clinic.


Walking around there made me sick because they were people all around me getting checked.


Finally it was my turn my mamma didn’t come in with me but she was just as nervous.


After they were down they told me something I never thought I would hear.

You are clean as a whistle the doctor said

I went home and I couldn’t believe that I was okay.

I was happy and you couldn’t tell me anything

Even though my daddy was mad at me I felt better about myself.

When I went to school the next day I was confident but I felt different.

I didn’t know how to confront him so I just left him alone.

I felt a relieve about what happen between me and Jermaine.







But as I matured I grew to know that I am better than all my mistakes I made in my life.


I am no longer that pretty girl with a cute body.

I am the girl that overcame many obstacles in life by herself.

I can walk around knowing that I will be just fine as I continue on my journey on becoming a woman.

I don’t have to walk in my past I can keep moving forward.

Even though I haven’t changed my habits of doing things without thinking I know that everything takes time.

I believe as I get older I will educate girls that are going through being rebellious and having sex with multiple people.

I want to give them the opportunity to change what they think they have to do to be a certain person they know they aren’t.

I believe that if I step up and encourage girls to wait for the right person and to know that if the boy they are messing with doesn’t give a damn where the end up.

I can pat myself on the back if I speak out about diseases.

I know now that I have to change myself as much as the next person but I can honestly say that I have overcome the most dangerous part of life by living through a painful time in my life.

It wasn’t the best time in my life but im glad that I went through it.

It makes me who I am today, the strong willed girl.

I don’t take shit from nobody, and I won’t take anything from anybody.

I believe that me coming to telluride was meant to be I don’t regret anything because everything I do makes me a better person.

I want to share my story but at the same time I don’t want to get pity because everybody is going to go through something in their life that is going to shape it.

No one is perfect and everyone is going to make a couple of mistakes.

But you have to make sure you learn from them and to not repeat your mistakes.

The time I spent by myself I realized that I always valued having time you wisely.

I value the love that people have for me because I know that I do have supporters, even when I have done wrong.

I will never doubt my way of change I have conquered the life of good and bad.

So as I grow I will always remember the boy who I thought I loved and loved me back I believe that he shaped who I am today I will never know what would have happened if I never met Jermaine Tindale.

I learned my lesson to never listen to a slick talking boy because most likely he wants to use you in the best way he can then pass you off to a friend.